This month’s piece of wellness is consumption. I admit this is a little bit of an odd choice for the piece of wellness, but wait until you read what I pull together to bring this concept into the blog! Bigfoot, wolves, and trapped emotions in the subconscious mind… now it’s just plain weird!
In the last few months, I’m almost hyper-aware of strong emotions that feel like they are consuming me, trying to eat me or swallowing me whole. As these emotions are noticed and listened to, actions and behaviors are shifted, and I can see that these emotions have been with me for much longer than I realized. Much longer than just a few months or years. This got me thinking of a teaching from the cultures of Native Americans about the wolves inside us. As the story goes there are 2 wolves inside each of us. They are there from our first moments of development. As we age, they age. Each has its own purpose. One wolf is Love and one wolf is Fear. Two is enough for this to count as a pack, and as with any group of wolves, there will be a dominant one that becomes the leader. It is up to us to decide on the leader and it is up to us to feed this wolf. What do we end up feeding it? Whether it is Love or Fear we will end up seeking and feeding it emotions, experiences, beliefs, and all kinds of proof. By gathering these nutrients for the wolf and feeding its needs, eventually, we are feeding our own need for this proof. We will at some point need the Fear or the Love to be true. We will have a call to question our beliefs, and we will need it to be “correct”. Many things start growing when we reach this point. It begins with the wolf but it does not stay with the wolf. We expand and consume as it consumes and expands.
So, that is the story of the wolves ~ There are 2 inside all of us. One that is kind, loving, and gentle and one that is mean, harsh, and bitter. Whichever one we feed is the one that grows.
In taking the lesson to a new level, I want to ask more questions.
How do we always know what wolf we are feeding?
How do we make sure love is the leader?
To answer these first questions, my thoughts go to the instinct to track the animal. Learn all about each one and find signs of its presence. What does it need to grow? Why? What does it leave behind when it has passed through? I think going deeper into the patterns of both reveals a lot of wisdom about our past. Do we want to continue to find proof of our past or do we want to start a new story?
Whenever we decide to look, we can find a crossroads and choose a new belief Start a journey for proof of that new belief. Nourish this with experiences and emotions.
When I take time to reflect on that wolf of fear inside me, I can tell a story about a beast that might have led the way in more of my life than I realize. Afraid to speak up for my needs, afraid to put myself first, and afraid of rejection so I stayed small. There was fear of experiences, so I chose to NOT believe in a crossroads and was not able to see it. Which wolf was leading when I eventually broke out of my fear and stepped forward? Was I still being led by fear or was it the wolf of love the whole time? I truly do not know the answers to these questions and I will look to the piece of wellness this month and notice what I am consuming with new interest and love and an open mind.
Is this love or is this fear?
That is the question that has gone through my mind dozens of times already just today. In this first leg of the journey, I have already learned that if I notice there was no time to even ask my question, it is undoubtedly fear that has taken over. It becomes easy to identify an emotion that branches from fear, and know that it is what is leading me. I am sure there will be more lessons to come with deeper healing and growing and unfolding in the weeks to come.
Now there is still that last missing link! Why did I mention bigfoot before? My son and I love to spend downtime together watching shows about cryptids, the paranormal, and the otherworldly. Often scientists are investigating with tools to record evidence and do it in an acceptable scientific way. Any evidence is good but hard evidence is great! Hard evidence is something tangible and measurable that can be tested in labs or followed up with. Hard evidence is things like a piece of hair, an audio recording, or a group of witnesses.
We can take hard evidence from the lab and compare it to other known facts on file. We would know what dog hair looks like, so we can see if the sample is similar to a dog. Audio can be compared and frequencies can be measured. It can even be pulled apart and cleaned up with the background sound removed. It is crucial to gather anything that we can, especially when we are trying to learn about something we might not know anything about. Maybe we don’t even believe it exists. We might be trying to learn about something that only others have had a glimpse of, but we ourselves have not been aware enough to see firsthand. It becomes important to mention again that we don’t even need to believe in the thing that we are looking for, we just need to look. We need to be open enough in our minds and bring enough love into the effort so that we can gather information and facts. Lastly, it is vital to evaluate all evidence in the lab. Which means away from the location it was collected. In a calm, quiet, safe place we can look at the facts we have gathered (about those wolves inside us, or bigfoot I guess) with an open mind and heart full of self-love. Look back at the places of joy and the places of pain but make sure that you are not still in the battle or even on the battlefield (so to speak) that caused the pain. The lab is the safe place. The evidence of bigfoot is in the lab, not bigfoot or even the woods that he was chasing you in. Does this point come through? I hope so. If the argument caused you pain, give yourself time after it’s over to reflect and realize there is something to learn from it. There is evidence to collect if you are calm enough to find it.
If this is done correctly, we will then be able to recognize fear from love. We will know who is looking at the evidence, fear or love. When we find out where we are on that proverbial map of our self-growth and know who or what is leading us. We can have valuable pieces of the puzzle that help connect paths and crossroads on our journey in life.
This month will be full of journaling to uncover more of the signs of each of the wolves inside me. It will be followed by mirror work, Restorative Healing with Body Code, Tapping, and meditation to balance and release what is ready. Weekly videos will offer my “ah-ha” moments and maybe some places where I am stuck but they will be accompanied by worksheets which I will link in the video descriptions. Any videos that I find helpful will be added to the resources playlist on Align with Sarah’s YT channel.
Thank you so much for being here!
Offering you endless love and gratitude to begin this year with the intention to grow and lead with love.
~ Sarah
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