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Love Thy Self, Heal Thy Self. Dis-Cover Emotional Boundaries

From the healing hands of Sarah Misson

frozen bubble
barrier or boundary

Love thyself, heal thyself.

There's an order to that, and it's very important. Many times we wait to achieve a goal or get a result before we love ourselves or before we accept ourselves. Before we can look in the mirror and say that we love ourselves. Love our Self in this moment. The Self (with the capital S) is always the same whether it is up or down 5 lb, has a 2, 3, or 6-digit number attached to the banking accounts, nor is it affected by the number of likes, friends, followers, etc. When the Self is overwhelmed by the energy of the ego, a negative emotion, trapped trauma, (and) or limiting beliefs, other things overshadow what the Self is actually about. 

What defines the Self is what holds our energy together and it's what creates us. Our personality, which is in turn created from our experiences and our perceptions.

Love thyself by defining boundaries for the Self.

Where do you begin? Where do you end? The energy, the perceptions, the experiences, the personal reality (also known as the personality).

And with that comes the inevitable evaluation of our boundaries. 

Knowing where I begin and end is a crucial part of seeing all of me so that everything that needs to be loved and nourished has a container to be held in. That's what the boundaries are, containers that hold us. Knowing where I begin and end also gives me a value on how much I need or what it takes to fill up me. How much I need for me and what I have left for others. There is an order to that, and it is very important.

Part of having boundaries raises a need for a conversation about barriers or even armor and how they are different than boundaries. 

Barriers contain overflow. Barriers are a temporary way of containing chaos. Barriers limit the flow of things going in and coming out. They cannot be permeable because they may fail frequently and quickly once they become breached. A barrier is something that can be unexpected by the person setting up the barrier as well as for people who are used to the barrier not being there. A barrier can tell us a very important piece of wellness. It can tell us that we have a need for a boundary here! 

Time for that magic recipe for personal growth! Noticing, Listening, and Shifting our behavior, habits, and thought patterns, or maybe the company that you keep based on those barriers might just get you the trophy emoji from your Self! All of this can pave the way for what that boundary needs to look like. A place where you begin and a structure that keeps you safe from where that experience ends. Both barriers and boundaries have the function (and the hope) of creating safety. Defining where I begin and where I end relates to safety. If we count on a barrier to keep us safe we might find ourselves continually adding to the structure of the barrier and creating a massive infrastructure that we are still investing energy in because there is nothing there that we trust and maybe something there that we do not yet understand. To know the difference or to discover the difference between whether something is a barrier or a boundary for our Self, one exercise can help shed some light on the distinction: A boundary does not come with an explanation attached to it. 

If you are explaining why, or how, or even why not ~ you're investing in a temporary barrier.


The tricky thing that boundaries and barriers have in common is that we create them both consciously and subconsciously. That means they could be based on awesome things or stuff like trauma, limiting beliefs, or negative emotions. Honestly looking at what we're doing and exploring why we're doing it sets up that trophy emoji energy again. If it is wrapped up with the curiosity of "is this hard for me to talk about with others?" you might just get the group text from your Mind, Body, Spirit, and Self with all kinds of hearts and sparkles too! 

More questions: Do others know this about me? Have I had boundaries and barriers pushed so they become rigid unfunctional areas of my Self? Do I keep people in my life that require me to constantly adjust or justify my boundaries? Another big one, guarding boundaries or barriers is the revelation, which is like a spotlight highlighting the need to change up the people in your life. 

Let's take a deep breath!!

Another tool for fast-tracking finding healthy boundaries and recognizing barriers is to evaluate the people in your life. Is there anyone who complains about your barriers or your boundaries? Is there anyone who constantly pushes back or tells you you don't need those boundaries? You don't need or aren't worth those standards? Those are people that are not nourishing your life. Though they may not even know better, the bottom line is that they don't know any better. If they're not listening to your needs, if they're not invested in learning and shifting their behavior, please know that there are people who will!

The last thing I want to talk about is having no boundaries or barriers. Having people that push through them so consistently but they might as well just not be there. This experience is often fueled by helplessness and hopelessness. That's what energy is holding up the barriers/ boundaries. With no barriers and boundaries, the only thing left is the actual body and very often there is a physical response to this stress. It is called body armor. The tissue of muscles and fascia will actually become rigid, frozen, and numb. 

 Examples of this could be a shoulder freezing up, or a rib that won't stay in place no matter how many times we go to the chiropractor. We could have a hip that's full of pain and stiffness (because it is painful to move forward) but nothing shows on an X-ray or a scan, Why? The emotional piece is the underlying cause. Recognizing the trauma, the stress, and the emotional baggage is HUGE. My favorite clients are the "nothing" clients. When there is nothing on the scans, tests, and other images. When nothing is helping. When PT, surgery, and everything else create nothing in the form of help. The problem is not being addressed, meaning the non-physical that is creating the physical symptoms. 

Dr Bradley Nelson addresses all of these issues with body armor, barriers, or even blockades with what he called the Heart Wall. Just like the "nothing" clients are my favorite, the Heart Wall work is my favorite thing to help clients with. Physical issues, emotional issues like self-worth, self-love, and self-value, as well as life struggles with relationships and giving and receiving love all are supported by removing the concept of the Heart Wall. It's like the barricade made out of all those temporary barriers that are clogging up all the energy flow of love at the same time as consuming all our available energy in maintaining or building the barricade... it's a very draining experience!

If any of this sounds familiar, it's time to connect! 

February comes with a featured product offered at a special price. The Heart Wall package is a bundle of 3 sessions that focuses on exactly that, taking down the WALL that is disconnecting you from enjoying your energy and your flow with the experience of love. We work to find out what the Wall is made of and all other information that we need to know and then we clear the emotional baggage and trauma that will stop the figurative construction of it, then we work to create the confidence that your subconscious mind will stop ordering materials, then lastly we take the Wall down. Once it is down it is down. This series includes 3 sessions and if it takes longer than the 3 sessions, we will continue until the Wall is gone (with no extra charges for those sessions!). If we are done in less than 3 sessions, you still have the remaining time to work on whatever else you would like to use that time for. It is a very magical offer and an even more magical experience. I hope you reach out and scoop this up so we can get that Heart Wall removed so you can enjoy physical and emotional changes for the better! Setting you up for that beautiful concept of the law of attraction. When that heart wall is removed we let go of the trauma that created it and the love that we want to give and receive can now flow from us and to us.

Find your Self behind the wall, under the trauma, and among the beautiful light of hope that has brought you here to this moment.

I'm so excited you are here ~ reach out today to say hello with our new email address ~ sayhello@alignwithsarah.com!


Wishing you Endless Love & Gratitude for Self,

Sarah

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